March 17, 2023
A young woman once asked me what the difference was between a woman posting a picture in a bikini and lingerie was. I thought about it for a moment and I told her that I thought the only difference would be the woman’s intention.
I thought about that this evening. So often women and children are sexualized when their only intention is to be themselves. We’re told not to wear things that are too revealing; nothing too short, nothing that shows too much skin. We must dress tastefully and modestly and never invoke the stares of another’s eyes. Too much responsibility is given to us over others. Apparently, we have the power to make people do things that they wouldn’t otherwise do.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve had time to evaluate what it was that made me so desirable. Was it when I wore my first skirt in elementary school? Was it my infatuation with anything Lisa Frank? As I aged, was it that I started to develop faster than my peers? I refuse to think that what I wore had any bearing on the actions of those predators around me. Even now, when I see a woman wearing something that she feels confident in and maybe shows “too much skin”, I think back to myself as a child wearing clothes a child would wear. What we wear doesn’t matter to those who prey on us. Those who prey on us have something fractured inside them. Their love maps are broken, and they desperately search for fulfillment in terrible things. And they find none.
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